When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
