I feel like I'm in dance class right now
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
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I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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