just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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