once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
