Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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