you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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