Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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