I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
