we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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