You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
