I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
