john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
