It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
third nipple confirmed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
