i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
