he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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