My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
