Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
