Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
