The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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