Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I want to have your abortion
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
