forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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