this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
