this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
