As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
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spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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