i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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