Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
