i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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