I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
