I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
