Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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