Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
