R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
