Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
