there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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