There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Drunk is a universal language darling
that is very illegal...i love you.
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