What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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