No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
