just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
