According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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