It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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