So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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