They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
