ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
