Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
