Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
