Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
MIDGETS
????
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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