If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
