awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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