he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
