we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
