It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
there is glitter all over my balls
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