i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize