**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
