a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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