my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
