You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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