His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The Olympian is in my bed
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
