I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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