HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
