My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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