she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
