I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
