It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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