I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
