dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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