its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the day after is always just damage control
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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