Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
